PERFECTION IS UNATTAINABLE ... VULNERABILITY IS HUMAN

This year has been a huge lesson for me in how to live with uncertainty and to regain a trust and faith that things will work out in the way they are meant to.

When I was a yoga teacher, I immersed myself into the philosophy of yoga and I allowed these ‘ways of living’ to guide and help me navigate challenging times. I realised I had let this slip and when thrown challenges this year I needed to reconnect with these philosophies and practice them to keep my head above water.

Life is BIG and does not always play out the way we would like. No matter how hard we aim to ‘get our ducks in place’ something will come along to make us feel untethered. This is just how life is and if we can see these challenges as our path to new learnings and insight we can feel grateful for the shit times as well as the good times.

As this year draws to an end I wanted to reflect on these learnings that I have received and share some of the things that have helped me through a turbulent year.

1. Acceptance (Isvara pranidhana, cultivating a deep and trusting relationship with the universe) … the no.1 tool in allowing me to ‘trudge through the mud’. When I tried to fix things, solve things or wish things were different, it all became more difficult.

2. Coming back to the present moment (Dyana, meditation and contemplation) … ‘Looking into the future’ and ‘fortune telling’ only created a sense of panic. If I allowed myself to make up stories I would very quickly attach myself to ‘worse case scenarios’. By bringing myself back to the present moment I was able to let go of the stories I was creating.

3.. Understand that suffering is shared. I learned that I wasn’t alone with my struggles. Many people have found this year difficult and challenging. You never know what others are experiencing and going through.

4. Authenticity (Satya, truthfulness) is my strongest value. I chose to be authentic always. If asked how I was I would answer with honesty and openness. This was how I learned that I wasn’t alone and the support and connection that I felt warmed my heart and soul. Thank you to all those beautiful people that listened and held space for me, I appreciate you more than you could know.

5. Pratyahara, Meditation … Listening to bird songs on waking, morning walks along the beach and seeking the company of trees were my daily medicine.

6. Yin yoga (Asana) … This nurturing practice allowed my anxiety levels to drop. When ‘on the mat’ I would give myself permission to ‘let go’, focus on my breath and simply listen and reconnect to myself. My trust in the process of yoga gave me the understanding that these were moments of deep healing.

7. Being a mum of adult children is tough. We are no longer in control and we need to just love, listen and support. Our children’s lives are theirs to live and their struggles are theirs to navigate. This is the hardest learning for me and one I am still working on.

8. Love deeply those around you. Be grateful to them in every moment and let them know how much they are loved.

9. Svadhyaya (study of self and scriptures) … Never believe you are too old to grow, learn and try new things. Stepping out of our comfort zone leads to growth. It might also help you to form new friendships and relationships with shared interests.

10. Self-compassion (Ahimsa, non violence to self and others) is our greatest healer. Allowing myself to be vulnerable and that it was ok to not be a ‘strong’ person. Perfection is unattainable, vulnerability is human. I was kind to myself and knew that I was doing my best.

Maybe you can relate to some of these musings and I hope you find them comforting and helpful. Never feel you are alone and the more you reach out the more support you will find. I now look forward to 2024 and know that I have these tools to guide me through.